I am holding a green glass ball in my hands and it is heavy. I feel what seems to be energy from the ball pulsing through my arms. I am beginning to sweat and my body shakes as I move the ball in front of my body. The ball in front of me starts to glow faintly. Everything in the room around me drops into soft focus and the chatter of my friends becomes a background hum. I feel apprehension, even a little fear. This should not be happening to me, I don’t believe in this New Age crystal nonsense.
It is 1994 and I am at the fulcrum of my life. I am at a friend’s dinner party and I have been handed a curio, an obsidian ball that looks like a fishing float but is much heavier. In minutes, this Mount St Helen’s obsidian changes my life forever. I am not having a “healing crisis” – in fact my life has never been on a more even keel. After a twenty-five year career as a performance artist which took me from the fringe to the mainstream, I am finally over the struggle of creating and into a still place with my art. There has been a lot of change in my life recently, all of it good. I have a blank canvas in front of me and I feel content, so now the Universe steps in and takes the opportunity to shake things up a bit.
A tunnel of light opens up before me in the ball. I glance at my friends expecting them to notice my face illuminated from the ball, but they chatter on laughing, oblivious to what is happening to my body. We are no longer experiencing the same reality.
As I gaze into the ball I am sucked into a vortex of light and I move into a beautiful space, indescribable in its peace and love. I burst into tears, knowing in the back of my mind that my friends are probably wondering what is happening to me. But I no longer care: I am in a state of absolute bliss.
Beings step forward from the light around me and embrace me with their infinite joy.
Dudes, I telepath. You have definitely got the wrong man. I don’t believe in this stuff.
I realise immediately that this is like saying I don’t believe in the sun. It just IS. And it is time for me to wake up to the truth of my own infinite being – which I do, in seconds.
In this precious moment, my journey of realisation as a complete being begins. The beings I am with gently remind me why I incarnated and I release my egotistical resistance to the truth of their guidance; they explain the workings of the Universe and we discuss my future.
When I return to the reality of my friends’ dinner party I can see the energy around each person in shimmering colours. I meet my wife’s concerned and loving eyes and smile. Noticing a line of soft pink energy connecting our hearts, I start crying again.
I see more than I could ever have imagined existing in this small physical space that contains us. Then I see beyond, through the walls, into All There Is and I am overwhelmed by its beauty.
In this moment I cease to be an artist and become so much more. I am no longer all I ever thought I was. I am nothing and everything. I feel everything and it is overwhelming. I am both terrified and ecstatic.
I see into my own future and grasp that it will take some time before I can share my experience with others. I see that in due course I will be able to help many people, but that seems irrelevant right now as my own profound initiation has begun and it is all-consuming.
I take a deep breath, smile reassuringly at my friends and step into my new life as a shaman.